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Post by richm on Apr 29, 2024 7:09:31 GMT -5
All I can say is good luck - most folks with issues don't see them as their issues.
He needs to be allowed to hit bottom. Until then, there is no bounce.
The whole demon thing is true - you can't fight it for him - he has to do that.
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Post by whitebacon on Apr 29, 2024 7:16:47 GMT -5
Tony, if he doesn't want to go, you can't make him go. It's a nasty disease. Trust me, I know.
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Post by madm002 on Apr 29, 2024 8:56:35 GMT -5
Tony, if he doesn't want to go, you can't make him go. It's a nasty disease. Trust me, I know. I agree with you. Only exception is if they are a threat to themselves or others. Then you can Marchman Act them, which kind of calls a timeout and gives everyone some space to breath and evaluate. So I think OP has to evaluate exactly whats going on there.
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Post by whitebacon on Apr 29, 2024 9:22:05 GMT -5
I want to say this out loud. Alcoholics are very seldom cured. To those that beat it, God bless them. I am probably lying to myself, when I say I'm a functioning alchoholic.
I knew this early on. I never had children, on purpose. It is not fun for people that love you. I moved as far away as I could to not affect any of my friends or family any more with my insanity.
It is an insidious disease. Generally not cured until the cemetary.
I'm not trying to be mean. This is spoken from a true alchohilic. Apologies if I offended anyone.
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Post by tonyroma on Apr 29, 2024 14:59:48 GMT -5
Just got off the phone with a good friends soon to be ex wife. He’s in the bottle. 125 ML of Tito’s every day, remote work since COVID. Me and his brother will be rolling in to help him move, hopefully get him into a facility. He’s got good insurance Called the director today Hopefully he’s receptive, everybody's rock bottom is different. You're essentially performing in intervention. Are you familiar with the process? It can backfire and you would become his enemy. Ya, I’ve been through this a few times now with friends and family.
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Post by ferris1248 on Apr 29, 2024 15:30:39 GMT -5
If he becomes his enemy that is better than having never made the effort.
When he dies of cirrhosis or kills someone in a car accident, his conscience will tell him, you did what you could.
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Post by nikonoclast on Apr 29, 2024 15:42:59 GMT -5
Best of luck to all three of you, plus the kids.
The odds aren't good, but giving it a try is what friends are for.
Several years ago, I asked advice from an older old friend who had been through it.
( Owning a bar, it's an occupationl hazard. )
He said there's really nothing you can do until the person themselves makes the decision.
( DWI made the decision for this guy ... the ignition lock device was too much hassle. )
Asked a similar question of another older old friend who gave much the same answer.
In that case, the behavior wasn't alcohol related, or even drug related, ... it was a religious trip.
( Quite literally ... a pilgrimage scam ... the "blessed mother" supposedly appears in Bosnia. )
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Post by tonyroma on May 5, 2024 8:57:52 GMT -5
He was ready, Checked himself in. Good guy, hope he embraces the treatment.
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Post by PolarsStepdad on May 5, 2024 9:15:00 GMT -5
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Post by madm002 on May 6, 2024 12:15:52 GMT -5
He was ready, Checked himself in. Good guy, hope he embraces the treatment. That is a great first step!
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Post by olmucky on May 6, 2024 12:27:03 GMT -5
My sympathies.....much love. I made a deal with the devil a long time ago. There is no human alive that drinks more than I do. I don't understand why God calls some people home early. I have an ex cousin in law. He’s 81 I think. Lived in a bottle. Smoked like a chimney. Cousin divorced him decades ago, he moved out west, buys a bar. Still owns it still drinks and smokes all day, every damn day. No idea either how come either.
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Post by gardawg on May 6, 2024 12:41:07 GMT -5
My sympathies.....much love. I made a deal with the devil a long time ago. There is no human alive that drinks more than I do. I don't understand why God calls some people home early. I have an ex cousin in law. He’s 81 I think. Lived in a bottle. Smoked like a chimney. Cousin divorced him decades ago, he moved out west, buys a bar. Still owns it still drinks and smokes all day, every damn day. No idea either how come either. he ain't never stopped moving ... just like an old car ... if you drive it every day it'll keep running ... let it sit for a couple of weeks and it just might not ever start again.
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